On this week's special bumper edition of Battleship Potemkast, the boys explore themes such as sci-fi horror, Don't Breathe, Liverpudlian philistines, Luke Cage, disliking Suicide Squad, dragons made of kung fu and the amount of fucks McGregor and Diaz give.
Music by Kevin MacLeod
071 - WHAT WE WATCHED #18 - SERIES PARK, SOUTH 20
Oh jeeeeeez. Yes, causing offence and bitterness wherever they go, the Battleship crew sail to the coasts of Colorado to indulge in what is arguably the best television programme of the last three decades... Hole In The Wall! ... wait... no, sorry, it's South Park. They're talking about South Park.
Music by Kevin MacLeod
070 - RETRO REVIEWS #2 - TRICK R TREAT
It's the Month of the Macabre, and the Battleship Crew enter the swine-flu influenced hallucinations of Captain Michael Cook and pull out an underground horror classic, Trick R Treat. Meanwhile, Quartermaster Stoakes is jealous of not having Robocop, purgatory haunts the world of the living, and Latin night classes are held in Hell.
Music by Kevin MacLeod
069 - GHOUL'S GAMING GULAG - THE BEST OF BEASTLY HORROR GAMES
Resident Evil 6... Siren... Alone in the Dark Illumination... none of these are mentioned in this, a rundown of what the Battleship Crew think are the greatest horror games of all time. Meanwhile, Captain Cook ignores the entire point of Silent Hill 2, Quartermaster Stoakes cowers in fear of spiders, and the video games industry turns to the world of druidism to make decisions.
Music by Kevin MacLeod
068 - BRAWLIN' BATTLESHIP #4 - DANCING ADAM SMITH, THE AFTERMATCH
Dancing Adam Smith returns onto the podcast after breaking his fist on someone else's jaw, and he is not taking prisoners on this week's podcast. Quartermaster Stoakes manages to probe out of him some details of the rest of the card, the importance of cardio, and the only thing better than childbirth. Music by Kevin MacLeod
067 - WHAT WE WATCHED #17 - THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN
Yee-haw, it's a roundup on the Battleship Potemkast! With Captain Cook and Quartermaster Stoakes donning their stetsons, mounting their horses and saying "like" a lot, tune in as Antoine Fuqua's name is mispronounced, breasts are discussed, and Indians war over who is the least authentic.
Music by Kevin MacLeod and Arthur Conley
066 - UNRESTRICTED, UNRATED, UNNAMED #2 - BATMAN DAY
"Our Bruce in Gotham, feared be thy cowl. Your Kingdom Come, your will be done, breaking all of the Riddler's bones in the process. Give us this night our desired safety. Forgive us for making gay jokes about you and Robin, as we forgive those who make gay jokes about our fascination with a leather-clad S&M rodent. And lead us not into mediocre superhero stories, but deliver us from boredom. For thine is the city, the police and the criminals, forever and ever. We swear to you."
065 - BRAWLIN' BATTLESHIP #3 - BOXING WITH DANCING ADAM SMITH
In this, the third episode of the increasingly inappropriately named fight section of the podcast, we speak to a returning Dancing Adam Smith, who is scheduled to murder another opponent this Friday. Sage advice is doled out, as are threats and jokes. Relive his first fight, learn how to get into a ring yourself, and prepare to be scared for your life by a dancer.
Music by Kevin MacLeod
064 - WHAT WE WATCHED #16 - BLAIR WITCH
Hey, Boo-boo! We err got ourselves a podcast talking about the new Blair Witch-a picture! Yes, it's Halloween early aboard the Battleship, as Captain Michael Cook and Quartermaster Rob Stoakes discuss the difference between predator drones and Amazon drones, the obsession modern horror has with the homeless and Russian bears. What else would you expect in a Blair Witch review?
Music by Kevin MacLeod and FINN
063 - WHAT WE WATCHED #15 - KUBO AND BOOBS. BOOBO.
Things get raunchy on the Battleship Potemkast with one-eyed children, Sir Mix-a-Lot's "Put 'em on the Glass" and Eastenders actors. Yes, it's What We Watched, where Quartermaster Stoakes tries to explain why you should see Depression Revelations the Movie while Captain Cook goes back in time to inspire Da Vinci.
Music by Kevin MacLeod
062 - CRITIC VS COMEDIAN #1 - THE GREATEST MOVIE SEQUEL?
FIGHT! In this new segment, a comedian and a critic vie in bloody battle for your entertainment. Your gladiators, Captain Michael Cook with his army of robots and hackers and Quartermaster Rob Stoakes with his legion of clowns and millionaires, will continue the grand tradition of audiences and reviewers fighting over who's right, and duel to decide what is the greatest movie sequel of all time; Terminator 2 or The Dark Knight!
Music by Kevin MacLeod and Toby Fox
061 - CAPTAIN COOK'S CAGE CHAT #2 - UFC 203 FEAT. REGULAR JOE
Look in my eyes! What do you see? The Battleship Potemkast podcast, that's what, as Captain Cook, Quartermaster Stoakes, and Regular Joe analyse, deconstruct and reconstruct UFC 203. Wonder Woman is recast! Stipe saves cats! CM Punk quotes Rocky! Oh my, what an episode!
Music by Kevin MacLeod
060 - GENTLEMAN'S GAMING GULAG #16 - BACK ON THE CIVIL WARPATH
It's the Gentleman's Gaming Gulag where we talk about movies instead. There are many revelations on the ship; Quartermaster Stoakes sucks at war, Captain Cook stands up for Scarlet Witch, and a great journey is made as we get a sneak peek at a 10,000 hour long recording session.
Music by Kevin MacLeod
006 - CREW'S LOG #1 - KICKBOXING AND THE ADVENTURES OF CREE IN MANCHESTER
After finally returning alive and partially well, Stowaway Cree regales Captain Cook and Quartermaster Stoakes with the legality of acid, and the three discuss the joys of being punched in a room full of sweaty men.
005 - 17TH APRIL 2016
On this week's Battleship Potemkast, Captain Cook and Quartermaster Stoakes make up for a lack of homosexuality by talking about Nightcrawler and Wolverine, Martin Luther King Jr makes his first appearance, and we reach into the past for an old fable of desire, Germans and stolen boxers from the currently absent Cree.
004 - GAY'S GAMING GULAG #2 - ACHIEVEMENTS
On this episode of the Gay's Gaming Gulag, the crew visit the world of gay bars while Cree works out why his dad left him and Rob's position as Quartermaster is threatened.
003 - CREATIVE CORNER #1 - DISNEY DOES DARK
On the first (recorded) episode of the as of yet unnamed creative corner, the incredibly smart and devilishly handsome movie critic Rob Stoakes tries to pitch Captain Cook and Stowaway Cree the next Disney film, and Cook and Cree make invalid and stupid complaints.
Would you watch Rob's film? Do you think you can do better? Comment below with your thoughts and ideas for the next creative corner!
002 - GAY'S GAMING GULAG #1
On our maiden voyage, prepare to decide whether you prefer the Matrix or Minority Report as the Battleship Potemkast crew dive headfirst into the world of virtual reality, gay sex and stone age inventions.
Credits music - One Eyed Maestro by Kevin MacLeod
001 - BATMAN VS SUPERMAN REACTIONS
Finally making good on our threats, Captain Cook, Quartermaster Stoakes and Stowaway Cree burst onto the scene with a mini-episode telling you what your opinion of Batman vs Superman should be.
Title music: One Eyed Maestro by Kevin Macleod