095 - SCHALK BEZUIDENHOUT - WORLD'S WORST GIG

November 11, 2018

Testing, one two one two, is this thing on…? We’re met by a mix of cricket sounds, flying bottles and scathing reviews this week as we perform the World’s Worst Gig. We have the company of South African comic Schalk Bezuidenhout who shares a first-person tale of steakhouses, strippers and stand-up. Ben takes us to the worst Beatles gig ever (those of you playing the Ben/Beatles drinking game, down it) and Barry goes to the not-so-genteel theatres of Covent Garden.

Visit www.worstfootforwardpodcast.com for all previous episodes and you can now donate to us on Patreon if you’d like to support Ben’s new baby and Barry’s crippling trivia addiction: https://www.patreon.com/WorstFootForward

090 - ANDREW SHAFFER - WORLD'S WORST FAN FICTION

October 8, 2018

Let your imaginations run wild - this week we are reading the World's Worst Fan Fiction. Our guest is Andrew Shaffer, New York Times best-selling author and fan fiction parody writer extraordinaire. He tells us about the genesis of 50 Shades Of Grey among thousands of other Twilight fan fiction tales, while Ben talks about sex and Barry dives back in time to some of the earliest fan fiction stories around. It's a very saucy episode - if there isn't slash fiction written about us after this one, then you're all clearly made of wood!

074 - PAUL DUNCAN MCGARRITY - WORLD'S WORST KNIGHT

June 11, 2018

Arise, ye noble listeners of Worst Foot Forward - sorry about accidentally slicing your heads off. Never mind, be of good cheer as Squires McStay and Van der Velde are joined by Sir Paul Duncan McGarrity, erstwhile archaeologist and comedian. Their quest: to venture forth in search of the World’s Worst Knight. Along the way they may face such dangers as Communist dictators with knighthoods, Queen Elizabeth I’s least favourite favourite, and a man armed with the most ridiculous weapon of all: a wasp gun.

Visit www.worstfootforwardpodcast.com for all previous episodes and you can now donate to us on Patreon if you’d like to join the World's Worst Family and support Ben’s new baby and Barry’s crippling trivia addiction: www.patreon.com/WorstFootForward

072 - CAMILLA WHITEHILL - WORLD'S WORST TOURIST ATTRACTION

May 28, 2018

Pop on your camera, get in line and prepare your finest gawking faces as we show you around our episode about the worst tourist attractions in the world.

We're joined by playwright and screenwriter Camilla Whitehill to share stories of Japanese hemorrhoid shrines, islands full of snakes and dead bodies and the strange modern fetishisation of sugar-covered chocolate.

069 - JONNY SINGER - WORLD'S WORST SPORTING RULE

May 7, 2018

We're all offside and committing fouls after a false-start to Worst Foot Forward this week, throwing every bit of dissent we possibly can at the umpires as they outline the World's Worst Sporting Rules. With us we have Jonny Singer who, as an employee of the Marylebone Cricket Club or MCC, is one of the arbiters of the laws of cricket. He comes to us with plenty of full on mid-off silliness about lost balls. Barry talks about the Grand National that never was and when football would never end. And Ben has a complicated story involving goals in extra-time counting double and teams trying to score deliberate own-goals.

056b - THE WORLD'S WORST 'BEST OF 2017' EPISODE

February 5, 2018

This week on Worst Foot Forward we are celebrating joining Podnose, the UK’s leading independent entertainment podcasting network. To mark this, we’re looking back over our first year (and a bit) of trivial silliness and awful achievements. We’ve picked out some of our favourite facts and fripperies from episodes 1 to 53, featuring some of our very best guests and very worst worsts, including understudy dogs, delicious seagull wine, Sexy Pac-Man and #goatballs. If you’re a longtime listener or are tuning in for the very first time, this should give you a good idea of the sort of nonsense we peddle week in, week out. Wooden spoons at the ready? Dig in.

056 - LAURA LEXX - WORLD'S WORST TEA

January 29, 2018

Anyone for tea? Following on from speaking to the quintessential British rapper last week we cover the most classic of all British topics this week: tea.

Joined by award-winning comedian and host of the CineMastermind podcast Laura Lexx we settle a debate that goes all the way back to the very firstvcuppa that was stewed a little too long and severely displeased a Chinese emperor. As well as getting very annoyed at Fortnum and Mason for the most expensively pretentious teabag on the planet we reveal tales of daring disguise by swashbuckling colonialists, the hitherto little known practice of tea duelling and the astonishing number of different digestive systems posh people like to have their tea leaves past through before they actually drink the stuff.

055 - PROFESSOR ELEMENTAL - WORLD'S WORST HIP-HOP ALBUM

January 22, 2018

Pull up a turntable and join us as we cut through the hardy thickets of undergrowth that make up the choices of the world's worst hip-hop album. Joined by the indomitable Professor Elemental - the finest exponent of chap-hop and owner of the world's only monkey butler - we listen to music so asinine, offensive, badly produced and inappropriate that it should be banned by the Geneva Convention. All so you don't have to. On the way we discover the tragi-comic tale of Vanilla Ice, the potty-mouth Little Yachty and why hip-hop stars should never visit Stoke.

051 - ALLAN SCOTT DOUGLAS - WORLD'S WORST SANTA

December 24, 2017

Ho ho ho - but enough naming our garden implements, it’s time for the Worst Foot Forward Christmas Special! Santa himself joins us on the show - or at least, his official body-double does. Yes, actor and professional Father Christmas Allan Scott-Douglas is our guest to tell us wintry tales of the World’s Worst Santa. Allan relates some true tales from backstage at the grotto, Barry takes us through the history of the real Saint Nick and his various hideous European mutations, and Ben introduces us to a goat in sexy red hot pants.

050 - SAM LEBENS - WORLD'S WORST MESSIAH

December 17, 2017

It's our fiftieth episode, our golden anniversary and to celebrate, Ben and Barry have got a real rabbi to bless their union. Sam Lebens joins the boys to pray for the coming of the World's Worst Messiah. Barry puts his Jesuit education to good use with stories of Micronesian 'cargo cults', Ben gets down and dirty amidst some Reformation orgies and Sam brings an academic eye to the question 'what makes a good Messiah anyway?'. Tune in for fake Moseses, cannonball catching and sexually-transmitted Antichrists.

048 - MASUD MILAS - WORLD'S WORST BLAXPLOITATION MOVIE

December 4, 2017

*Cue outrageously funky wah-wah pedal and slick hi-hat action* Flick up the collars of your trenchcoat, coiffure your Afro to perfection and get ready to lay some righteous Smackdown on Whitey and the establishment as we join comedian and radio host Masud Milas on a journey into the world of Blaxploitation films. As ever on our search for the worst of all time, we come across all sorts of horrifying wonders, including gay B-Movie Blaxploitation aliens from Mars, Dutch Angles, spitting on graves, pimps and whores galore and Melvin Van Peebles penis. PART 1 [00:00] PART 2 [05:23] What Masud is Worst at in the world PART 3 [07:55] Ben's Choice: Background to Blaxploitation movies African-American Folk Heroes in Literature Gay N****** From Outer Space PART 4 [31:28] Masud's Choice: The Black Gestapo PART 5 [46:28] Barry's Choice: Trailers Pam Grier Dolomite/Rudy Ray Moore Sweet Sweetback's Badasssss Song PART 6 [1:05:06} The Winner World's Worst News

047 - SAMANTHA BAINES - WORLD'S WORST SPACE INVENTION

November 26, 2017

3 - 2 - 1 - LIFT OFF! Whoops, the rocket fell over. Yes, having previously discussed astronauts, we're blasting off to space again in search of the World's Worst Space Invention. Award-winning comedian and actress Samantha Baines (The Crown, Call The Midwife) joins us to share her love of Cox and her insights into sex in space. Meanwhile, Ben pops the hood and looks at the inner workings of the Death Star and Barry talks about THAT pencil story and the terrifying experience of living on Mir.

037B - WORLD'S WORST HOLDING EPISODE

September 18, 2017

We're taking a week off to enjoy a cheeky autumnal holiday. In the meantime, fill your ears with some of the best clips that didn't quite make the final edits of some of our favourite show. Feat. Bec Hill, Tiernan Douieb, Lynn Ruth Miller, Jim Smallman and Sarah Bennetto.

Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @bechillcomedian @tiernandouieb @lynnruth @jimsmallman @sarahbennetto

036 - SIMON FEILDER - WORLD'S WORST GADGET

September 3, 2017

Go go gadget! X-Ray Spex on, hoverboards charged up and telescopic body-parts at full mast as we construct some of the world’s worst gadgets! Comedian, improviser and former Big Breakfast weatherman Simon Feilder is here to rummage through our garages and attics to find some of the most useless inventions ever. Amidst our tinkering, we create vicious self-defence devices, unprotectable patents and Edwardian Spotify, with appearances from The Prodigal Son, fake leeches and - of course - the fidget spinner.

033 - KEIR SHIELS - WORLD'S WORST DOCTOR

August 13, 2017

The doctor will see you now, but say ‘AAAAAAAHHHHH’ because he’s accompanied by two idiots. Yes, actual real-life NHS registrar Doctor Keir Shiels is on call with Ben and Barry scrubbing up beside him as we discuss the World’s Worst Doctors. There are quacks and charlatans, cure-alls and elixirs, and tales of blowjobs on prescription, why the Hippocratic Oath is mostly bollocks and why goat balls may be just what you need to spice up your love life.

030 - BISHA K ALI - WORLD'S WORST HORROR MOVIE

July 24, 2017

Woooooooo! WOOOOOOOOO! Look out behind you, because creeping up slowly in ghostly and macabre form is this week's episode about the worst horror movies ever projected on the silver screen. We're joined by writer and comedian Bisha K Ali for a blood/treacle-with-food-colouring-soaked journey through the world of F-movies, possessed lawnmowers and a former Star Trek officer dressed as a crow. Be afraid, be very afraid...

026 - KIRI PRITCHARD-MCLEAN - WORLD'S WORST SERIAL KILLER

June 25, 2017

Blood! Guts! Carnage! Trivia! Worst Foot Forward is a veritable crime scene this week as we investigate the World’s Worst Serial Killer. We’ve got a crack team on the case led by our guest, comedian Kiri Pritchard-McLean of gory sketch group Gein’s Family Gift Shop, and host of her own serial killer podcast ’All Killa No Filla’. Among our prime suspects this week are a man who designed his ideal murder palace, a murderer whose secret weapon is a canal system and a serial killer that wasn’t a serial killer at all. Plus there's the Yorkshire Ripper's bollocks, the world's most narcissistic murderer and the mysterious murder of West End star Elaine Paige...

024 - NAT LUURTSEMA - WORLD'S WORST LODGINGS

June 11, 2017

They say there’s no place like home - and in the case of the homes we discuss this week, THANK GOD! We delve into the World’s Worst Lodgings with our guest: no less than a BAFTA nominated screenwriter, stand-up, sketch comedian, actor, author - the multi-talented and multi-vowel-possessing Nat Luurtsema. Nat helps us face up to some home truths as we wade through the murky depths of our former university dwellings. We go exploring a poisonous granny-flat, Ben’s Edinburgh Festival digs, Barry’s showery sex life, Megan Fox’s menagerie and a few horrible hermitages.

022 - IVO GRAHAM - WORLD'S WORST KIDS MOVIE

May 29, 2017

We're wearing our finest primary colour dungarees and are full of all the E-numbers as we get ready to indulge ourselves with the worst Kids Movies of all time. Joined by Mock the Week panellist and silken-voiced star of Live at the Apollo Ivo Graham, we uncover some timeless stinkers. If you want to find out about the one movie Whoopi Goldberg regrets, one of many which, sadly, Robin Williams seems not to and the classic Sidney Poitier's Ghost Dad, give this episode a listen.

021 - BRYAN LACEY - WORLD'S WORST MMA FIGHTER

May 22, 2017

Join us this week in the sweat-soaked, blood-stained Octagon as we done our fighting gloves, pop in our gum shields and tap out in under 10 seconds to a girl guide from Aberystwyth Primary School. It's time to find out who the worst mixed martial arts fighter of all time is. The UFC franchise may only have been running since 1993, but this episode heads all the way back to Ancient Greece, from there taking in sumo wrestling mismatches, heartbreaking underdog stories and discovers which Street Fighter character would win in real life! Seconds out...let's get it on!