Hi folks, it’s Chuck Turtleman, your diligent and uncommonly attractive host. Tonight we’re bringing you a very special episode of Idiots of Facebook! In this show, we will cover the Holy Trinity of low IQ social media posters -Frank, Lisa, and Krystal Keith! Much like the mass of these three, the bulk of the show’s focus is mostly on Frank, though. We learn that Frank is unhappy with the supreme court ruling that gays can marry and he doesn’t want to live in a gay world, ok! He also shares his feelings on those who block people on Facebook, lets us know that he really wants a lady, and finally gives us all a big scare! Frank is considering closing his flower store on Facebook where he posts a beautiful flower photo every day (or at least a couple of times a week) for his bellas. But don’t worry, Frank rigs the election so the Frankie’s Flower Shop and Old Times is still in business -just don’t expect the flowers to have names. All this, a boatload of casual racism and homophobia and so much more… so stick it in your ears!
EPISODE THIRTEEN
What’s up my honkies! In this episode of Idiots of Facebook. We look at Lisa Beep-do’s new idea for a business, and it’s not just virtual gift baskets for your dead loved ones. Then, we go into Friend Zone Frank and take a deeper look at the mystery of why he can’t find love, even in a large metropolitan city. Then we move on to a serious issue. It seems one of our listeners is unhappy about our coverage of the Cheeky Franks of the Week, suggesting maybe we are being irresponsible journalists by covering these. Kind of like making anti heroes out of school shooters, only with fake Facebook accounts making fun of a fat bloke. We ponder these issues deeply, until Frank posts next. Then we bring you a whole slew of… Cheeky Franks of the Week! Put it in your earholes.
EPISODE TWELVE
In this action-packed episode of Idiots of Facebook, we get to know a whole slew of Cheeky Franks, learn why Frank’s hacker is so jealous, and move on to the second installment of the Saga of Krystal Keith. We get to follow his love life, and learn there might be more to his little ladybug than meets the eye. In pahhht two, Frank is on the news, when a big yellow taxi crashes into Sommerville. So pawn your mother’s wedding ring for a new set of earbuds, and stick us in your earholes!
EPISODE ELEVEN
Hi and hello! This week we have an even more special than usual episode of Idiots of Facebook! In episode 11, we not only get updates on Lisa (Beep)do and Frank, but we meet an all new idiot! We call him Krystal Keith. This part time motel maintenance man and full time lover is a very upfront gentleman. We discuss rustic woodworking, crystal methamphetamine, and the best way to display your penis for a dick pick (It’s either on a bicycle seat or stuck in a bag of weed, we can’t decide) All this, a side of Little Caesar’s and a dash of Fangelos, so put us in your ears!
EPISODE TEN
Welcome to the Idiots of Facebook podcast! In episode ten, we listen to the daughter of legendary actor Marlon Brando’s thoughts on the Oscars, catch up with Frank and Leah Shameless, and learn that one of the Idiots we have read for has passed away! Lucky for us, this idiot’s friends didn’t and we do touching readings of their eulogies of the departed Facebook friend they never met in real life. Don’t worry, we put the sad Hulk music behind it so you’ll know when to be sad. Oh yeah, that’s not all! Next, we meet Angelo! He used to sing in the Puerto Rican boy band Menudeo. Now he’s all grown up, and his popularity has gone nowhere but up. Oh wait, that was supposed to be just “nowhere.” Don’t worry though, he’s making a comeback by starting a Youtube channel where he records himself acting all sexy and singing over karaoke tracks! He only has about a dozen fans so far, but boy are they stupid. So we do dramatic readings of their messages to Angelo for your listening pleasure. So pop in some fake blue contacts, put on your most ripped-up tank top, and stick us in your ears!