What better way to celebrate the end of the year than by looking backwards? Yes, it's the Battleship Potemkast Awards! Can Captain Cook objectify Margot Robbie and survive? What happens in Quartermaster Stoakes' head when he speaks to someone? And what are the best and worst of 2016? Meanwhile, Star Wars Rogue One is put under the lens. Music by Kevin MacLeod and Charlie Parra
080 - BUMPER POTEMKAST #9 - BATWORLD LEVEL 3 & GREEN VS THE HAMMER!
See Mean Joe Green's fight here -> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9MlYPNj40MQ&t=4s At long last, Robin is able to make her final charge against The Riddler in this week's Batworld, while in the real world Joe Green recounts his experience at Ultra White Collar Boxing in Hull. TREMBLE as Mean Joe Green must conquer The Hammer! QUIVER as you discover what comic book characters women find sexy! SHUDDER in the face of what is by far the greatest challenge Robin and Nightwing have ever faced... Music by Kevin MacLeod and The Noveltones
079 - BUMPER POTEMKAST #8 - BATWORLD LEVEL 2, CREEMAN RETURNS
It's the comeback you've all awaited for! Yes, it's Batworld Part 2, as Carrie Kelly gets some assistance from Barbara Gordon in her quest to save Batman. Meanwhile, on the Battleship Potemkast, Quartermaster Stoakes is given instructions from the universe while Captain Cook shoots a child in the face with silly string. ... but wait... there's a familar, camp presense aboard the ship... bwuueeerrgh!
Music by Kevin MacLeod
078 - BUMPER POTEMKAST #7 - BATWORLD LEVEL 1, HARDWIRED TO SELF-DESTRUCT AND THE TOP 10 MOVIE SCORES
It's a new day, and a new day brings a lot of new segments. You've genuinely not heard anything you've heard before. You will hear the Top Ten Movie Soundtracks according to a critic and a comedian, Captain Cook will break down his love of Metallica and the new album in particular, and Quartermaster Stoakes takes on the role of game master in a devilish new Batman game... ... hold on, I thought we were doing new things...
Music by Kevin MacLeod, Poway Bob, Shirley Walker, Krissie Fox & The MSsoundeffects
077 - BUMPER POTEMKAST #6 - AMY ADAMS' LIES IN ARRIVAL, UFC 205 AND REGULAR JOE PUNCHING CHILDREN
This, dear listener, is a message from the Year 2020. I remember that on the sixth Bumper Potemkast we broke the space-time continuum after covering Regular Joe's boxing debut, reviewing Arrival, covering UFC 205. Still, it's not so bad. I managed to send footage of 2020's Presidential debate, and I now know who would be hosting the Battleship Potemkast if Quartermaster Stoakes wasn't here. Signed Captain Cook.
Music by Kevin MacLeod
076 - BUMPER POTEMKAST #5 - OUIJA ORIGIN OF EVIL, AND SWITCH & CLINTON VS PLAYSTATION VR & TRUMP
Halloween isn't done with us yet as the Battleship Crew have spooky times ahead of them. Captain Cook smashes the fourth wall apart, Quartermaster Stoakes explains how the Electoral College works, Ouija Origin of Evil and Nintendo Switch are both examined, in tonight's main event the Hell Heavyweight Championship is defended!
Music by Kevin MacLeod and Jim Johnston
075 - BUMPER POTEMKAST #4 - DR STRANGE VS CONOR MCGREGOR & CRITIC VS COMEDIAN FEAT. REGULAR JOE
The end of October comes, and with such a horrific Halloween, it only feels appropriate to end it with the Critic vs Comedian as they battle over the greatest horror movie of all time; The Thing or The Exorcist! Meanwhile, movie critic Quartermaster Stoakes peers over Dr Strange, Regular Joe helps us pick out the best betting options for UFC 205, and Captain Cook reveals his greatest fear... Support Regular Joe in his upcoming charity boxing bout by giving this link a poke -> https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/uwcb-joegreen1645041507
Music by Kevin MacLeod, Toby Fox, Disasterpiece, Bulldog Mansion and Led Foot
074 - BUMPER POTEMKAST #3 - RETURN OF THE DEAD, RETURN OF THE CAPED CRUSADERS AND...
The two most popular things in the world, Batman and zombies, meet at long last on the Battleship Potemkast! With revelations about the guillotine, agreements over the best horror film, and what actually counts as a zombie anyway, you will laugh, cry and scream in this episode!
Music by Herbert Chappell and Kevin MacLeod
073 - BUMPER POTEMKAST #2 - VIRTUAL REALITY AND SLASHERS
Audio only slashers? Check. Joker holograms? Check. Diving for sharks? Check. It can only be an episode of the Battleship Potemkast, where Captain Michael Cook gushes over VR, Quartermaster Stoakes gains a powerful new ally, and both of them love Halloween.
... the movie, not the holiday. Though they love the holiday too.
Music by Kevin MacLeod
072 - BUMPER POTEMKAST #1 - DON'T BREATHE, SCI HORROR AND ASTHMATIC LUKE CAGE
On this week's special bumper edition of Battleship Potemkast, the boys explore themes such as sci-fi horror, Don't Breathe, Liverpudlian philistines, Luke Cage, disliking Suicide Squad, dragons made of kung fu and the amount of fucks McGregor and Diaz give.
Music by Kevin MacLeod
071 - WHAT WE WATCHED #18 - SERIES PARK, SOUTH 20
Oh jeeeeeez. Yes, causing offence and bitterness wherever they go, the Battleship crew sail to the coasts of Colorado to indulge in what is arguably the best television programme of the last three decades... Hole In The Wall! ... wait... no, sorry, it's South Park. They're talking about South Park.
Music by Kevin MacLeod
070 - RETRO REVIEWS #2 - TRICK R TREAT
It's the Month of the Macabre, and the Battleship Crew enter the swine-flu influenced hallucinations of Captain Michael Cook and pull out an underground horror classic, Trick R Treat. Meanwhile, Quartermaster Stoakes is jealous of not having Robocop, purgatory haunts the world of the living, and Latin night classes are held in Hell.
Music by Kevin MacLeod
069 - GHOUL'S GAMING GULAG - THE BEST OF BEASTLY HORROR GAMES
Resident Evil 6... Siren... Alone in the Dark Illumination... none of these are mentioned in this, a rundown of what the Battleship Crew think are the greatest horror games of all time. Meanwhile, Captain Cook ignores the entire point of Silent Hill 2, Quartermaster Stoakes cowers in fear of spiders, and the video games industry turns to the world of druidism to make decisions.
Music by Kevin MacLeod
068 - BRAWLIN' BATTLESHIP #4 - DANCING ADAM SMITH, THE AFTERMATCH
Dancing Adam Smith returns onto the podcast after breaking his fist on someone else's jaw, and he is not taking prisoners on this week's podcast. Quartermaster Stoakes manages to probe out of him some details of the rest of the card, the importance of cardio, and the only thing better than childbirth. Music by Kevin MacLeod
067 - WHAT WE WATCHED #17 - THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN
Yee-haw, it's a roundup on the Battleship Potemkast! With Captain Cook and Quartermaster Stoakes donning their stetsons, mounting their horses and saying "like" a lot, tune in as Antoine Fuqua's name is mispronounced, breasts are discussed, and Indians war over who is the least authentic.
Music by Kevin MacLeod and Arthur Conley
066 - UNRESTRICTED, UNRATED, UNNAMED #2 - BATMAN DAY
"Our Bruce in Gotham, feared be thy cowl. Your Kingdom Come, your will be done, breaking all of the Riddler's bones in the process. Give us this night our desired safety. Forgive us for making gay jokes about you and Robin, as we forgive those who make gay jokes about our fascination with a leather-clad S&M rodent. And lead us not into mediocre superhero stories, but deliver us from boredom. For thine is the city, the police and the criminals, forever and ever. We swear to you."
065 - BRAWLIN' BATTLESHIP #3 - BOXING WITH DANCING ADAM SMITH
In this, the third episode of the increasingly inappropriately named fight section of the podcast, we speak to a returning Dancing Adam Smith, who is scheduled to murder another opponent this Friday. Sage advice is doled out, as are threats and jokes. Relive his first fight, learn how to get into a ring yourself, and prepare to be scared for your life by a dancer.
Music by Kevin MacLeod
064 - WHAT WE WATCHED #16 - BLAIR WITCH
Hey, Boo-boo! We err got ourselves a podcast talking about the new Blair Witch-a picture! Yes, it's Halloween early aboard the Battleship, as Captain Michael Cook and Quartermaster Rob Stoakes discuss the difference between predator drones and Amazon drones, the obsession modern horror has with the homeless and Russian bears. What else would you expect in a Blair Witch review?
Music by Kevin MacLeod and FINN
063 - WHAT WE WATCHED #15 - KUBO AND BOOBS. BOOBO.
Things get raunchy on the Battleship Potemkast with one-eyed children, Sir Mix-a-Lot's "Put 'em on the Glass" and Eastenders actors. Yes, it's What We Watched, where Quartermaster Stoakes tries to explain why you should see Depression Revelations the Movie while Captain Cook goes back in time to inspire Da Vinci.
Music by Kevin MacLeod
062 - CRITIC VS COMEDIAN #1 - THE GREATEST MOVIE SEQUEL?
FIGHT! In this new segment, a comedian and a critic vie in bloody battle for your entertainment. Your gladiators, Captain Michael Cook with his army of robots and hackers and Quartermaster Rob Stoakes with his legion of clowns and millionaires, will continue the grand tradition of audiences and reviewers fighting over who's right, and duel to decide what is the greatest movie sequel of all time; Terminator 2 or The Dark Knight!
Music by Kevin MacLeod and Toby Fox