THE THIRD FOOT - MADAME TUSSAUDS (BONUS EPISODE)

August 30, 2019

Come listeners! Join us in the snaking queue into the uncanny valley! Ben and Barry are a bit glassy-eyed in this month's bonus Patreon episode, as we venture into Madame Tussauds. Yes, there's no apostrophe. No, we're not happy about it either. Voted the World's Worst Tourist Attraction in our episode with playwright Camilla Whitehill, we're back for more torture in this chamber of horrors. We take a look at the real woman behind the name, learn how the models are actually made and examine the dubious presence of Hitler among the smiling famous faces.

096 - ANNA PLOSZAJSKI - WORLD'S WORST MATERIAL

November 19, 2018

We're joined this week by the eminently qualified Dr Anna Ploszajski - Young Engineer of the Year, Channel Swimmer, science explainer and graphene-hater to talk about the worst material on earth.

As eclectic as ever, we uncover a World War 2 plan by the British military to create aircraft carriers out of icebergs made of ice and sawdust, the blackest substance on earth, an astonishingly petty art spat featuring Anish Kapoor and how to make a prison that Ant Man could never escape from.

Visit www.worstfootforwardpodcast.com for all previous episodes and you can now donate to us on Patreon if you’d like to support Ben’s new baby and Barry’s crippling trivia addiction: www.patreon.com/WorstFootForward

094 - MIKE STUCHBERY - WORLD'S WORST EPIDEMIC

November 5, 2018

This week we're donning our sterilised plastic gloves, three face masks and a full hazmat suit as we prepare to deal with the world's most peculiar, disturbing and deadly epidemics. We're joined by outstanding historian and curator of one of the most informative and sinister Twitter feeds around, Mike Stuchbery.

Together we talk about renaissance nuns pretending to be cats, Singaporean men who think their wangers have disappeared and why it’s never a good idea to throw a smallpox party. We also discover the unusual genesis of cooties (hi America listeners!), dabble in some medieval witchcraft and discover why Portuguese schoolchildren have taken the biscuit with excuses for taking days off school.

092 - AIDAN GOATLEY - WORLD'S WORST TATTOO

October 22, 2018

Bite down hard and prepare to feel some unusual pain as we inflict the world's worst tattoos on you. Joined by the charming stand-up comic Aidan Goatley we return to the terrifying world of Russian prisons, uncover some creepy Cold War secret, Japanese pelts, the mysterious Edith and why early 20th century royalty were absolutely covered in ink.

086 - MOLLY KER HAWN - WORLD'S WORST FICTIONAL CHILD

September 10, 2018

In this episode we line up some of the stickiest, naughtiest, most badly behaved and obnoxiously prodigious children ever created by authors and line them up for six of the best. We're joined by literary agent Molly Ker Hawn, someone who is steeped in children's literature as National Programs Director at the Children’s Book Council and a past board member of the United States Board on Books for Young People. Like all good agents she knows what she likes and doesn't hold back when she finds something that doesn't cut the mustard. We end up talking about Belgian newspapers, Roman foundational myths, Roald Dahl's offcuts and an audacious wartime fraud.

084 - LORD FEAR AKA TOM BELL - WORLD'S WORST EMPEROR

August 20, 2018

Listen to the sound of those really long trumpets with carpets dangling off them - it can only mean one thing, it's time for our episode about the worst emperors of all time.

We're joined by the master of the Knightmare dungeon Lord Fear, in heavy disguise as actor and comedian Tom Bell as we discover tales of incest, concubines, whoopee cushions, penguins, ghost-killing ceremonies, Ming the Merciless and fox-tossing.

If you enjoyed this show you can support us by heading to www.patreon.com/WorstFootForward and pledge to support the show from as little as $2/month. When we hit 25 donors we'll crack out an extra show each month where we will go even more in depth about previous show winners and reveal even more daft stories of heroic, farcical and often bloody failure.

083 - JOURNEY AROUND THE MONOPOLY BOARD

August 19, 2018

Pull up a chair and prepare for some world class arguments, trivia and brutal no-holds-barred capitalism as Ben and Barry present their first ever Patreon exclusive. We promised that when we got to 10 Patreon donors we'd do special episode and here it is.

We revisited the world's worst board game - Monopoly - with former guest Paul Flannery and played a game so you guys never have to again. On the way we journeyed through all of the destinations on the London board and uncovered the worst stories possible in all of the locations, including kinky Czech classical musicians, brutal East End gangsters, bear-baiting, Boudicea's grave and how MI5 used Free Parking to win the war.

We didn't want to subject you to the full experience of over two hours of Monopoly gameplay, so consider this an edited highlights reel.

Let us know what you thought of the special on our Twitter @WorstFoot or via email on worstfootforwardpodcast@gmail.com. If you enjoyed this show and would like us to make more Patreon Specials, then head to www.patreon.com/WorstFootForward and pledge to support the show from as little as $2/month. When we hit 25 donors we'll crack out an extra show each month where we will go even more in depth about previous show winners and reveal even more daft stories of heroic, farcical and often bloody failure.

078 - GEORGIE MORRELL - WORLD'S WORST HANGOVER

July 16, 2018

Knock back a raw egg, fetch another pail of Bloody Mary and get ready to talk to Ralph on the big white telephone as we uncover the history of the worst hangovers of all time.

We're joined by actress, comedian and disability campaigner Georgie Morrell as we disclose our worst indignities - involving Red Setters, hiking boots and Scottish tramps - as well as PG Wodehouse's classification system for hangovers, the real man to blame for Abe Lincoln's assassination and an incredible story involving 400 mythical Aztec bunny rabbits.

One hell of a morning after the night before!

076b - THE BEST OF THE WORST OF THE BEST

July 2, 2018

Holding patterns everyone! Ben and Barry are joined by no one but themselves in this special one-off episode.

Together they go back through the first five subjects they talked about 76 episodes ago - worst psychological treatment, superhero, Beatles song, console game and protest - and uncover the stories of some of the best examples of each. As ever, they end up covering the globe and the history books: from 9th century Persia to modern day Liberia, via weaponised cows and a lot of Beatles trivia.

070 - GLENN MOORE - WORLD'S WORST NEWSCASTER

May 14, 2018

It's Worst Foot Forward here, on the hour, every hour, whatever the hour, with an episode all about the worst newscasters of all time.

We're joined by the eminently qualified Glenn Moore - a brilliant comedian and also the voice of the news on XFM. Together we hold our noses and explore the word moral depths of Fox News and someone who really belongs on there - Nancy Grace. We also find out more about the Moira Stewart of North Korea, the history of Town Criers and absolutely one of the funniest on-air gaffes in the history of newscasting.

068 - GABRIEL EBULUE - WORLD'S WORST MUSIC VIDEO

April 30, 2018

Video may not have killed the radio star, but it's certainly responsible for some incredibly poor creative choices since MTV was launched back in 1981.

We're joined by comedian and host of the tremendous 3 Track Podcast Gabriel Ebulue as we trawl through the horrorshows of wannabe somebodies and waywards superstars adding images to their music. Along the way we uncover the story of Michael Jackson's ill-fated attempt to be a director, a Star Trek-Lord of the Rings mash-up, some grim cultural appropriation and even grimmer and balls out creepy behaviour from Serge Gainsbourg.

067 - DANIEL BYE - WORLD'S WORST POLITICAL THEATRE

April 23, 2018

This week we're endeavouring to look Very Serious Indeed as we grapple with thorny topic of political theatre. We're joined by director, actor and theatre-maker Daniel Bye who gets stuck into an episode packed full of history, literature, one-upmanship, shouting at people in crates, Elizabethan coups and an awful lot of codfish and rhubarb spoken about Shakespeare.

065 - A GAY & A NONGAY - WORLD'S WORST FRIENDSHIP

April 9, 2018

This week we're joined by podcast royalty and bosom buddies James Barr and Dan Hudson, aka A Gay and a Nongay to discuss what happens when friendship turns sour.

As ever, we gallop through the history books to uncover the reality behind royal whipping boys, a strangled Moorish poet, a million ways to stab your brother in the back and what happens when you get to over-familiar with bears. (Massive clue: you get eaten and have a documentary made about you by a brilliant, yet creepy German guy.)

062 - TEZ ILYAS - WORLD'S WORST CENTRE BACK

March 19, 2018

It's back to one of our favourite Sunday afternoon pub conversations this week as we go searching for more terrible footballers for our all-time worst XI. This week, we fill the centre-back spot and there are a rogues gallery of misfits, cheats and actual criminals all jostling, badly, for the spot. Our guest is football fan, Blackburn Rovers fanatic and tremendous stand-up comic Tez Ilyas.

We discover the story of the farcical Combination League - a precursor to the Football League in the 1880s which lasted less than a season, how and why the Madagascan champions lost 149-0 and who exactly was a "bastard's bastard" during the 1970s.

059 - HELEN ARNEY - WORLD'S WORST ELEMENT

February 26, 2018

It's time to get out our Bunsen Burners and boil everything down to its most basic constituent parts: if we can work out what the worst element in the world is, perhaps we can uncover the secrets behind all heroic failure?

Joining us this week is breathtakingly smart and multi-talented chanteuse of the science world Helen Arney. Part of the Festival of the Spoken Nerd, Helen has appeared on TV and Radio as both a science communicator, madcap experimenter and dab hand with the ukulele. Together we navigate through the tricky quarries full of Kryptonite (all 22 varieties), sinister red mercury, dull old Boron and the phoenix-like astatine.

057 - MATT STELLINGWERF - WORLD'S WORST PUNISHMENT

February 12, 2018

We're joined this week by award-winning Kiwi comic and former criminologist Matt Stellingwerf to cover a seriously grisly topic: the world's worst punishment.

This episode comes with a serious content warning as we delve into the depths of human behaviour to discuss capital punishments with the sort of inventiveness normally reserved for Wallace and Gromit. Our search takes us from medieval Spain to Enlightenment Sweden, with nods to Greek myths, Greek history and depressing American present. You'll learn a lot in here and hopefully come away not too depressed about the nature of humanity...