Bite down hard and prepare to feel some unusual pain as we inflict the world's worst tattoos on you. Joined by the charming stand-up comic Aidan Goatley we return to the terrifying world of Russian prisons, uncover some creepy Cold War secret, Japanese pelts, the mysterious Edith and why early 20th century royalty were absolutely covered in ink.

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It's time to get out our Bunsen Burners and boil everything down to its most basic constituent parts: if we can work out what the worst element in the world is, perhaps we can uncover the secrets behind all heroic failure?

Joining us this week is breathtakingly smart and multi-talented chanteuse of the science world Helen Arney. Part of the Festival of the Spoken Nerd, Helen has appeared on TV and Radio as both a science communicator, madcap experimenter and dab hand with the ukulele. Together we navigate through the tricky quarries full of Kryptonite (all 22 varieties), sinister red mercury, dull old Boron and the phoenix-like astatine.