Featuring: Booze, Beardo, Chuck Turtleman
Producer: Booze, Beardo, Turtleman

Whaaaat’s up, me old China plates?

Put another whelk on the Barbie(cue) as our Australian correspondent Beardo returns to insult the country his criminal forefathers were exiled from years ago, for crimes too trivial to bother hanging them for. He starts with a report on England’s lamest sports, most of which seem to have been invented to give the aristocracy an excuse to fondle each other’s bottoms.

There’s more England bashing in the News Round, as Prince Harry saves animals by murdering them, and we find out that Booze is paying to keep a big fat lady in skinny men and Xboxes. It’s not all route one, lowest common denominator xenophobia, though. We also give you our review of HBO’s critically unacclaimed Real Detective(s), meet a lady dwarf with an extra appendage, listen to a lovelorn listener’s letter to Chuck Turtleman, and Beardo pays for his absence last week by performing a Feat of Strength. And we’re probably the only podcast you’ll listen to this week that features a flashback within a flashback, followed by a flashback. (That last flashback isn’t within the first flashback, though. That would be confusing.)

So put the saucepan lids to bed, pour yourself a nice warm pint, and stick this in yer bleedin’ ear’ole, my honkies.
Gertcha!