All aboard the Battleship Potemkast, where two comedians and a film critic try to talk about movies, games and kickboxing. This is very rarely the case, instead leaping into topics as blue as the ocean they sail. Featuring segments such as What We Watched, a Creative Corner, the Gay's Gaming Gulag and updates from the Crew's Log.
Setting sail each Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
Quartermaster Stoakes takes Captain Cook to a faraway world... Scotland. Yes, we went to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival and saw a great many things, including hippies infiltrating the West Borough Baptist Church, symmetrical people, unnamed Kiwis and Thai Food. Fun times were had by all, and this is their account.
Music by Kevin MacLeod
We took a great risk by throwing the first episode of our new series into your hands, but democracy has led Captain Cook and Quartermaster Stoakes to rediscover a diamond in the rough. While Rob confuses The Wiz and The Wizard, Michael bemoans museums, and yet more is cut from the Ghostbusters reboot.
Music by Kevin MacLeod
Not another clip show! With the boys taking a break to prepare their new space, they have left you a present. If you've been closing the episode when the really good music kicks in at the end (you monster) then this is the episode for you. Enjoy, pretties.
Music by Kevin MacLeod
We only say it's Critic vs Comedian in the title, really they mostly agree on Suicide Squad. However, Captain Cook doesn't agree with the rest of the world on it, and wages war. Quatermaster Stoakes, meanwhile, returns from a wedding inside Lewis.
Music by Kevin MacLeod
So, ladies and gentleman, your beloved and handsome Quartermaster Rob Stoakes has a deep abiding love for Metroid that Nintendo doesn't seem to share, and him and the illustrious comedian Captain Michael Cook will celebrate its thirtieth anniversary no matter what technical difficulties there may be.
Music from the excellent Harmony of a Hunter albums by Shinesparkers. Download here; http://www.metroid-database.com/harmonyofahunter.php
WARNING: As a note, we're not joking about the technical difficulties. Captain Cook's microphone wasn't working properly for the first two minutes of this episode, so hang tight or skip to about 1:32.
Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Yes, it's Suicide Squad time, where two men who actually like films talk about a film they like and no one else does. Join Captain Cook and special guest Regular Joe as they discuss movie expectations, Batman not murdering people in a movie for once, and what one man will do for Margot Robbie in short shorts.
Music by Kevin MacLeod
Captain Cook and new crew member Regular Joe haven't seen Suicide Squad yet, but that doesn't mean that they don't have opinions. Listen as they bitch on the internet about bitching on the internet, and then about undefeated streaks in UFC. Inbetween, Batman vs Superman is defended and Nate Diaz drinks tequila in Mexico. So fun times for all.
Music by Kevin MacLeod
When the Quartermaster's away, the mice will play. In particular, fictional people will play Dungeons and Dragons in Richard Thompson's sitcom Quarter Life! Discover Captain Cook's stance on Brexit, Richard Thompson's power as director, and that it turns out that the nerds were the ones having fun at university after all...
Music by Kevin MacLeod
n which Captain Michael Cook fights unkillable zombies with riot shields at a terrible zombie-themed adventure called Captain Dave's Zombie Not-Real Thing, and Quartermaster Stoakes vastly improves upon it by ripping off Left 4 Dead. You can't go wrong; there's fat shaming, stag parties and water pistols filled with paint.
Music by Kevin MacLeod and Lebansker0n
You won't even be able to see this episode, what with two spies and Batman running around. Yes, Bourne is here, and Captain Cook's enthusiasm can only be dampened by Quartermaster Stoakes' cynicism. But is it unfounded? Are the DC trailers much more interesting? And what DOES Rob like?
Music by Kevin MacLeod
Quartermaster Stoakes docks in Hull to go to Keep It Retro, which keeps it retro. Captain Michael Cook does his bit to go retro, going back to 2001, and Mark Hamill and Sonic the Hedgehog murder animals at the behest of Malcolm McDowell. Music by Kevin MacLeod
The Potemkast Crew do a bit of investigating into The Killing Joke. Apparently Bruce is into incest, Batgirl can't find an interesting villain, and the Joker is a very fast worker. Hear all of the Potemkast's findings this week.
Music by Kevin MacLeod
Pokemon is still on the menu today, as Captain Cook makes a plea to leave Pokefans alone, Quartermaster Stoakes goes through war with a Rattata, and the new ship's cook shows off his culinary skills.
Music by Kevin MacLeod
On this week's What We Watched, while Quartermaster Stoakes saw a film that actually exists, Captain Cook instead sees the best horror movie ever in his imagination. Can the boys work out what the director's name is, or will they be forever stuck in... THE ASCENT?!
Music by Kevin MacLeod and Peter Gabriel
Join the Battleship Potemkast crew on this special edition of the podcast which, much like Quartermaster Stoakes' penis, is very long, lacks focus and likes to recount long stories of drowning. What does Anita Sarkeesian need to know about the crew? Do we really know where zombies come from? Is an aroused Mike Tyson worse than an angry one? Only the crew and special guest Richard Thompson can give you the answers!
Music by Kevin MacLeod
The Battleship Potemkast talk about a game you may have heard of... oh? You want more detail? Like how special guest Richard Thompson was betrayed by Nintendo Magazine, or Captain Cook's theory of Pokemon Go uniting North and South Korea, or what Quartermaster Stoakes is wearing? Well, you'll just have to listen to the episode for all of the details.
Music by Kevin MacLeod.
Landlubber and local writer and producer Richard Thompson joins Captain Cook and Quartermaster Stoakes as they attempt to express an opinion on Ghostbusters without causing an argument. Instead, they drift towards Batman, because it's always time for Batman, Richard Thompson remembers boys hitting poplar trees and Michael and Rob bemoan the Columbia Logo.
Music by Kevin MacLeod
Grassroots comedy, Captain Cook highfiving pornstars, Stowaway Cree's on-key screaming, Alexis Texas, the banishment of a certain morally degenerate crew member, a box full of dildos. No, it's not the subject matter of Quartermaster Stoakes' debut jazz album; it's a whole new segment on the Battleship Potemkast!
Music by Kevin MacLeod and The Servant
The microphones are left on and we pretend that it was by accident. Peer behind the curtains at the Battleship as Captain Cook and Quartermaster Stoakes somehow both argue and agree about UFC card girls and sex appeal as power (a subject which by no means could cause controversy), Stowaway Cree struggles with what history podcasts cover and both Russia and Japan are accused of racism, which is cheap coming from three British white dudes.
Music by Kevin MacLeod
So Counter Strike Global Offensive has become quite controversial, and the Battleship crew attempt to take it head on. Private Egor assists and reveals some dark truths about Pokemon, Stowaway Cree reveals his ignorance, and Captain Cook and Quartermaster Stoakes actually stay on topic for once.
Music by Kevin MacLeod