It’s been a while, hasn’t it? In this podcast, the podcasters discuss podcasts.
027 - CHRISTMAS SPECIAL - TRUMP'S NUCLEAR ARSEHOLE
Musings on the festive selections in Aldi, the heat death of the universe, the futility of experts and crappy spoof accounts.
026 - RIGHT UP YOUR WAY WITH BRIAN JOHNSTON
Matters arising: The conspiracy of conspiracy blogs, the Children’s Adult Film Foundation, Crimewatch – the Movie, Yoko Ono’s obsession with wrestling, Ronald Allen’s darkest hour, the travelogues of Jack Woolgar, the truth about the BBC2 launch night, Is Alan Yentob really a fish and chip shop?, the real future of the Blue Peter garden and what day is bins?
025 - THE REVOLUTION WILL BE PAY-PER-VIEW
Matters arising: The conspiracy of conspiracy blogs, the Children’s Adult Film Foundation, Crimewatch – the Movie, Yoko Ono’s obsession with wrestling, Ronald Allen’s darkest hour, the travelogues of Jack Woolgar, the truth about the BBC2 launch night, Is Alan Yentob really a fish and chip shop?, the real future of the Blue Peter garden and what day is bins?
024 - QUANTUM OF FLORETS
Matters arising: Jon Voight’s fraught relationship with Ginsters products, a hard rain of Golden Roses of Montreux over the Bay of Biscay, John ‘Biffo’ Bindon’s short-lived career as a Beano cartoon character, the arthouse hinterland of Robin Askwith, Cubby Broccoli’s attitude to sprouting vegetables, the lost collaborations of Bill Giles and Luis Bunuel, unusual ways to commemorate Len Murray’s scrotum, and the immigration issues surrounding David Steel’s urethra.
023 - FUN WITH CALVADOS
Feeling festive? This should knock all of the goodwill out of you, with all of the backstage gossip about Wincey Willis, Bill Grundy and the Profumo affair, to say nothing of the connection between 1980s ‘yoof’ TV and fly fishing or audiobooks for the dead. Note well that both parties avoid the obvious lazy ‘acid rain’ joke during the discussion of ‘weather raves’.
022 - CARNEY AND CONNERY
Barfe and Owen show a return to form with that difficult 22nd Qualcast. I have no idea what that means, but it’s the sort of thing music journalists write. In reality, it’s roughly the same as it’s ever been. This time out, we hear about the Conservative Party summer fete in Manchester, Godfrey Bloom’s novel uses for a Davenport’s beer at home container, the comeback of TV’s Mr Saturday Night – Leon Brittan, and the dark secrets surrounding Sean Connery’s brief tax dodge interlude as the director of Crossroads. Doctor Who fans note: This podcast contains strong Jack Woolgar.
021 - RUBBING IT IN
It’s been a while. Matt has had a change of career that brings him into contact with all manner of interesting people. Other subjects under discussion include Papa Doc Duvalier’s years at Teddington Lock and the hardcore porn remake of Antiques Roadshow.
020 - TREADING GINGERLY
There are aspects of Ginger Baker’s career that he’d rather nobody remembered. We remember them, and we do so in this week’s Qualcast at hideous length. We also cover Joe Bugner’s abortive sitcom career and John Lennon’s attempts to branch out into county cricket and discover what links John Belushi with Farmhouse Kitchen’s Grace Mulligan.
019 - FARAGE ROCHER
Has it really been three months? Yes, it has. A lot has happened, so in this bumper ‘return to form’ Qualcast, we catch up on recent events, going into the lavs with Nigel Farage and Mike Read, while Bill Giles goes full Icke. You will also hear the truth about Tony Benn and how Anita Harris got her bullet hole, with discussion of Paul Hollywood and the Great British Fuck-Off, the intimate location of Huw Wheldon’s hidden Banksy and the true origins of the Michael Gove stencil set. Come one, come all. I just have.
018 - UNDER THE GRYLLS
If you want to know about Monty Don’s sexy sideline, the proposed This Week after-show on BBC3, the ultra-rare Airfix kit of Toni Arthur, Bernard Braden’s career-ending encounter with a Moray eel, the forthcoming BBC2 series Grumpy Old Nazis and the shed shame of Bear Grylls, you’ve come to the right place.
017 - YAFFLE'S TRAVELS
These are dark times in light entertainment land. Barfe and Owen face up to reality.
016 - ODE TO DENNIS WATERMAN
The latest Qualcast finds Messrs Barfe and Owen holed up in separate embassies, trying to evade extradition for crimes against Tony Selby. The thinking space gives them both time to reflect on Dennis Waterman’s shocking history of causing food poisoning in ramblers.
015 - SAVILE'S TRAVELS
To prepare you for the anti-climax of the post-Olympic world, here are our (anti-)heroes giving their thoughts on the Jimmy Savile auction, Tim Wonnacott’s wild years, lunch with Baz Brush, Twitter wits and Michael Moore’s new direction.
014 - OLYMPIC FEVER
Well, hasn’t it been a long time? Today, we can reveal the reason for the delay. Matt has been engaged on vital work of national importance. He takes time out from his busy schedule as overlord of the Olympics to talk to Louis about the on-site catering arrangements, the limited opportunities for a Jess Conrad tribute act and the hidden talents of John Pilger. Audiophile fans of the Qualcast should be aware that this week’s edition was recorded using a GPO type 746.
013 - HAPPY EATER
Apologies for the delay in getting this one, recorded just before Easter, out there. Subjects under discussion include: Bashing Ernie Bishop, Richard Littlejohn’s mastery of professional hatred, Peter Powell’s Rivers of Blood, the day Mantovani invented punk and Elvis Presley’s Post Office savings book.
012 - SPORT RELIEF
This one was recorded over a week ago, but life intervened, delaying the edit. Anyway, here we are now, with the Easter special Qualcast to follow on Sunday. This week, our heroes discuss the dark secrets of Mark Spitz, TV after-show parties, the fraught beginnings of virtual reality and the various charitable efforts associated with Sport Relief.
011 - KICKED UPSTAIRS
Apologies for the delay. As ever, we blame Tony Selby. In your bumper new Qualcast, the gents discuss Bill Giles' ongoing reign of terror and the rich heritage of parliamentary procedure.
010 - BERTIE BASSETT AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM
After a brief hiatus, we return to celebrate Matt’s new Fleet Street appointment, touching on the hidden versatility of Colin ‘Private Sponge’ Bean, Anita Harris’ gin preferences, Ken Jones and Eric Chappell in Hollywood, and the terrible fate of good old Bertie Bassett, no longer Britain’s greatest asset.
009 - REED ALL ABOUT IT
Apologies for the late arrival of this week’s Qualcast. Mr Barfe had to spend most of the back end of last week dodging lawnmowers being thrown by various celebrities and their relatives. The subjects covered this week include: the truth about Oliver Reed and feminists, the lost pilot of Top Gear and the medical perils of working on Late Night Line-Up.